6. Bound

"When I look into your eyes I see me."

"When I look into your eyes I see the universe."

"Where will you sleep?"

"I must go back."

"Hold me."

We are in my country. We took my car. Just drove. Together. Alone. Just us.

I wade through a creek, he climbs a tree, stretches his arm toward me. I reach.

As I spread a blanket he drops down on it, takes me with him in his fall. We laugh. We roar.

It is quiet. Only the popping sound of opening a beer bottle. Thirsty. He drinks. And kisses me with his wet mouth. Oh, he tastes so good. His tongue. It lives in this secret palace. Treasures. Velvet. I could drown in him. I do. I do drown in him. Every time.

"Will you ever tell?"
"What?"
"About this?"

"I don't know."

"Can't you be true?"

"Can you?"

Sitting on a dock, feet dangling in the water. Head on his shoulder. His hair tickles my nose. He draws cycles on my thigh with a finger. I cannot help it. I always have to touch his skin. Up his t-shirt. He is so soft. Smooth and lean, but soft.

"Why?"

"Hm?"

"Why him?"

"He is real."

"And I am not?"

"He is in my world."

"And I am not!"

"No, you are in your world. The world. Not mine."

He grabs my head, kisses my mouth. Bites my lip. He groans.

"Is this not real? I'm here. I see you, I feel you. You feel me! I know you do!"

"Yes, I feel you. You are real. But you are not in my world."

"We could be."

"No. You know we can't."

He jumps up. Strides away. He runs. He turns. Crouches. Head in his hands. Desperate. Jumps up and continues his pace. He is a lion. I can see it in the way he walks. Monkey lion. He always leaves. But he never does. We are one. Somehow. We are bound. Somehow.