About Me

My photo
This is a blog with stories inspired by a muse known as Eddie. I respect this man thoroughly and I do not mean to insult him in any way. This is just a fantasy. Please leave comments. I write for myself mainly, but an occasional comment is highly appreciated.

Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Nanny in Amsterdam, part 21




For those who forgot, or never read this; this is a sequel I wrote last year. And suddenly I stopped.
That's what I do. I almost never finish a story.
But I've decided to continue this one.

I wrote the first chapter in January last year: Nanny in San Diego, chapter 1


It's about a girl who becomes a nanny for a Dutch couple that live in San Diego.
The girl is Dutch herself. One day she goes to the beach, with a guy who works as a pool boy, and meets a surf dude.
There is this attraction between the nanny and the surf dude, but somehow communication isn't their strongest point.
Fate and misunderstandings keep them apart. Each an every time.


In the last chapter Lotte goes out with an old schoolfriend and discovers Eddie is still alive.


So here is chapter 21.
_______________________

I bang on the door.
But they stay shut.
I walk through the alley to the front of the venue.
The people won't let me back inside. The rules, they say. I can get my coat, though.
Someone walks with me, just in case. I stand in front of the locker, then swiftly turn and run to the concert-hall. But the security person grabs me by the shoulder and pushes me to the exit.
"Out."
"But you don't understand. He's my boyfriend!"
"Sure. They all say that. Go home fan-girl. Cry on your Eddie pillow."

And I'm outside again.

I go home. Drag myself to bed.

I know I will never see him again. Security. Guess he needs it now.
I'm reading a review of the show. He and the band obviously made it. Big now. Famous.
Even if, by accident, I get close to him he won't talk to me. I left him. For dead. In that hospital. After that horrible day.
I know he will think that. How can I tell him my father took me home...like ragdoll without a will of her own. He will not understand I am so weak.
I can't believe it myself.
I love him.

I throw the newspaper in a corner and get my stuff. 
I load my board on my car and drive to the beach. Wijk aan Zee. The only place you get the waves. Pretty good actually.
It's raining when I get there. But there is no wind. And the sea is like a mirror. No action whatsoever.

"Sup Lotte?" The blond Yannick greets me at surfclub Hui Nalu.
"Doing great, thank you. And you?"
"It's hanging." He winks. "No surfing for you, I guess?"
"Nah. Maybe some paddling though."
"Coffee?"
"Yes, please."
"So." He looks at me questioning when he hands me my coffee.
"What have you been doing to yourself?" He points at my bruised arm; the result of my wrestling with the security guy last night.
"Just a reminder that I shouldn't try to climb the stage during rock concert when bulky men are trying to maintain order."
"Really? Some pretty boys band?" He laughs.
"All dirt bags, more like." I answer with a smirk, thinking of Eddie's beautiful long hair.
A tear rolls over my cheek.
Irritated I wipe it away. But I think Yannick already saw it. He looks at me pensive.
"Thanks for the coffee." I quickly empty the mug.
"I'll be back later. I think I'll try to catch some anyway."
"Good luck."



The sound of the gulls and the sweet murmur of the rippling waves under my board lightens my gloomy state of mind. The rhythmic movement of my paddle through the water clears my head.
I'm almost happy.
No. I'm happy.
With a smile on my face I remember the first time I saw Eddie.
Clearly I see that small wet feather at the end of the small braid in his hair, stroking his tan muscled shoulder. Even now I feel that lurch inside my belly. His smile when he looked up, curious why I caught my breath. The butterflies.

He's alive.

"He's alive." I cry out to the grey sky.

A slight breeze builds up some waves with breakers. I catch a few and then decide to go back to shore.
I drag my board through the sand while I climb up the slope of the dune. I think I'll eat a burger or something and then go home.
I put my board upright agains the wooden wall of the cabin.
When I enter the surfclub Yannick is still behind the bar.
"Can I get a veggieburger, Yannick?" I ask.
"Sure."
"And a mint tea?"

It's nice and warm in the club. A fire in the woodstove is softly crackling and acoustic music is playing from the speakers.
Yannick returns from the kitchen with my burger. It looks and smells delicious and I say so. I'm hungry and I don't hide it.

"Lotte," the friendly blond giant says while he's watching me devour my meal, "there was a guy here....I think he was looking for you."
I frown.
"Who?"
"I didn't ask. But he was inquiring about renting a board. He wanted to go surfing and then he casually mentioned your name. Asked if I knew a pretty girl named Lotte."
My heart starts beating loud.
"What did he look like?" I ask breathless. I feel faint.
"Small guy. American. Californian type."
"Where did he...w....is he..."
"Whoa, Lotte! Calm down. He left. Said he'd come back."
"What did you tell him?"
"I said I knew you...That you come here sometimes."
"And? How did he react?"
He laughs.
"A bit like you now actually. Like an eager dog."
"And?"
"And what?"
I mockingly punch Yannick.
"What did he do next?"
"He left. I lent him a board and he left."
"When was this?" I'm jumping up and down now.
"Just now, when you where paddle boarding...oh."
Yannick looks perplexed as I run outside.

I run up the beach. Expecting to see Eddie, which is completely unrealistic - I know.
The beach is almost deserted, apart from an older woman with a couple of dogs and bald guy trying to keep his kite in the air.

But then I see him. A small figure diving into the breakers.
"Eddie!" I call.
But he cannot hear me over the sound of the breaking waves.
I run through the water to him. Half laughing, half in trance.
A big wave is about to collapse and I jump over it the same moment as Eddie does.
Together we emerge from the water, spluttering, stroking our hair back from our forehead.
His eyes upon me.
Without saying anything I wade towards him. With a sigh I take his face between my hands and kiss his perfect lips.
"Lotte." He sighs on my mouth.
And then a next wave comes crushing down at us.
We cling to each other. Trying to brace ourselves with feet in the sand, but the waves keep on pushing us over.
Without letting go we wade to the shore, while kissing, embracing each other tightly.
His mouth, his tongue, his lean muscled body.
Ohh, I think, I will never let him go.

It's still raining softly when I lean back against the dune. Pulling Eddie with me.
He sits up a bit, leaning on one elbow, turning the sand into a small avalanche.
"I hoped you'd be here." He whispers, carefully pulling the zipper from my wetsuit down. His intense gaze makes me squirm invisible. I know I hold my breath.
A quiet moan escapes his mouth when he pushes the rubber fabric away from my shoulders, peeling the suit off my body.
His mouth finds mine again, with his tongue he brings back the memories of the intimacy we shared those months ago. And impatiently I push my hips against his, willing to experience that feeling of oneness again.


Silently he leads himself inside of my centre, fixating me with those amazing eyes.
Serious.
I've never seen him so serious. He frowns, but rolls his eyes up when he thrusts.
I bite his shoulder as he's screwing me. His hands holding mine above my head.
He groans when he retreats, almost moving out of me, to push back in, making me gulp for air. Again and again. Until I forget everything around me and heave his name, over and over.

"Eddie...oh Ed..d...die...Eddie...I...I love you!" I cry out.

Muttering a curse he pulls back out, now fully and with a roar he unloads on my belly.

Shivering he rests his forehead on mine. Softly whispering incomprehensible words, while caressing my hair and face.

Then he rolls on his back. The cold air and the soft rain suddenly my blanket.

When I sit up to stroke his chest I notice his eyes are shut tight and his brows almost more furrowed then usual.

Suddenly I get scared.
"Eddie...what's wrong?" I ask.


"WTF, bitch? You love me? So where the fuck did you go after I nearly died for you?"


Saturday, 5 March 2016

The girl with no name, chapter 5.



"Hálwen." The old man stroked the broken young woman over the head.
She looked up at him. Tears streaming over her cheeks.
"Why does it hurt so much, grandpa?"
"Oh child, I wish I could make this more bearable for you.....I tried."
The grandfather focussed from his granddaughter's profile to the sculpture of the girl, made out of stone.
"...I tried." He sighed. Knowing how he failed by hiding the past from her and trying to keep away everything that could trigger that painful, dreadful memory of that traumatic experience years ago.
"I have so much feelings, so much emotions, colours, images. I don't know what is real and what isn't....grandpa? What is my name?"
"Your name is Hálwen, my dear. Your mother gave you that name."
"Then why do you call me Raindis, William?" Falling back to the way she had called her grandfather these last years. Before she got back a glimpse of her memory.
"I'm sorry, dear. When...some years ago...you were not well, in fact you almost died..." He gently touched the scar on her chest.
"...and you mumbled things on your sick bed....I made a story around the things you mumbled. You were lost, you were lost and you seemed bound to some man....and I did not know that man...he might have been....he might not have....survived."
The old man shakes his head. Knowing he should not mention the horrible event.
"....and there was so much passion and despair in you. So I thought of you as a lost bride. I tried to make things poetic. You were a wandering, erratic bride; Raindis.
When I tried to call you by your real name....Hálwen....you would become distressed...you would hurt yourself, faint, become hysterical. So I stepped away from that name.
And then you became calmer...your wounds were healed. Your memory was lost....but so was the distress and pain.
Unfortunately you were but a shadow of yourself."
"Marbh." Hálwen whispered. "I called myself Marbh."
"Dead." The old man wiped away a tear from the corner of his eye.
"You called yourself dead...and so you were, in a way...until I he came into our life."
"Who is he, grandpa?"
"You tell me, child...you tell me who this Edward is."
"He..."

Suddenly she jumped up.
"Grandpa, we need to find him! Fedja has hurt him real bad!"
She grabbed her head while an extreme pain in her scull seemed to cloud her mind.
"We were at the other side of the lake, William. We have to find him." She cried out.

The dusk was falling rapidly and the old man and the young woman had not found a trace of the small sailing boat. At the other side of the lake they had seen tracks of the boat being pushed back adrift, also prints of a struggle in the sand, blood, someone being dragged.
Hálwen had gotten almost hysterical when she saw them, but her grandfather had calmed her.
"We'll find him, dear...we'll find him."
But he wasn't so confident himself. Cursing the fact that he had let this Fedja Robson and his cousin Miles so deep into their lives.

"William." The young woman suddenly cried out. "What's that?"
The old man turned the speedboat into the direction she had pointed.
In a creek filled with lily pads and reeds they could see the faint shape of something white, a large object.
"I have to stop the engine and lift the motor, because it might get tangled it the water plants. Take the paddle, Hálwen, so we can get closer."

Slowly they approached the object.
It was the Wayfarer. Capsized.

"Eddie." Hálwen exclaimed, jumping out of the boat. Heedless of the cold and the fact she was wearing her clothes.

The mast hadn't sunken into the murky water; the sail was floating on the lily pads and was held stable. But the boat was a mess of tangled rope, a broken tiller and the shape of a man partly hanging over the boom - partly in the water.
His almost naked body was cold from the chilly water. With difficulty she could free him from the ropes. His beautiful face was as white as the sail and the wet curly hair pasted against his cheeks.
"Eddie...Eddie..." She whispered in tears, trying to keep him afloat.
With the help of her grandfather she got him on board of the speedboat.
She touched his swollen face, his bruised chest, looking for signs of life.
A sob of relieve escaped her when she heard his irregular, almost inaudible, breathing.
"Quick." Her grandfather handed her a blanket. "Put this around him...around the both of you. He's probably almost hypothermic. You must try to keep him warm with your body heat."
He paddled the boat out of the creek and started the motor.

"It will be alright....it will be alright...." She kept repeating with her lips against his ear. Shivering.
Touching his ice cold body. Drying him with a beach towel.

Back on land the old man and the young woman dragged Edward between them to the boathouse. They put him into the bed, found extra blankets and stoked the wood stove real high.
"This might sound awkward, dear, but you have to undress yourself and get under the sheets with him." William said while he was rubbing Edward's chest.
"But..."
"Do it.... No time to be a prude." He raised his voice and followed in a quieter tone:
"It's and old trick we used against hypothermia. Your body heat is what will get him warm. Meanwhile I'll get Miles's stuff to find something to make him pull through."
"Is it serious, grandpa?"

"He looks strong, Hálwen." But he had a severe look on his face when he left the boathouse and rushed to the main house.



Hálwen took of her still wet clothes and dried herself before she slipped under the blankets. She put her arms around his neck and shoulders and moved her nakedness against his almost marble skin.
Both the cold and the tension made her teeth shatter. She kept moving over his body to keep him warm, as well as herself. And slowly his skin started to glow and his breathing went deeper, more regular.

The warmth of the room started to make her groggy. At one point she almost fell asleep until she woke up because her grandfather came in.
Mumbling he gave something to Eddie, took his temperature and nodded reassuring at her.
"Good." He said.
"Stay like this till he wakes up. The steroid I gave him will do the trick, I think it will be alright."

Now and then violent shivers went trough Eddie's body. He was dreaming. Vivid and terrifying. He was drowning. Drowning while he heard people screaming and wailing. He heard the whistling of guns and the muffled sounds of impact. He dreamt he was immobile. He wanted to go to her, but he could not move. He screamed her name, but could not make a sound. He saw her collapse, again and again. And he kept on drowning, but then swirling waves pushed him up....tender...warmth...but he felt pain...

With a grunt he suddenly breathed out.

Wild eyed he looked around him. He did not recognize where he was at first and his body hurt like hell.
But then he became aware of the small being, curled up against him. Her legs entwined with his. Clinging to him. Like a little animal.
Softly he stroked her cheek as her head was resting on his shoulder.
"Hi...flatmate..." He whispered, a broad smile on his lovely - but bruised - lips.